A 2022 Letter To Abba
Dear Abba,
It’s been such a long time…. I miss You so much 🥹.
2022 has been quite a rollercoaster. Not the rollercoaster I expected, and it wasn’t my best year yet. I sincerely think I had a better year in 2021.
In fairness, I think I feel this way because this year was filled with a lot of stripping, clearing & pruning.
My journey in life has had a lot of back and forth. Every time it seems I'm making significant progress, it looks like I end up taking a million steps backward. 2022 seemed to prove this theory very right.
This year, I left a toxic job without a plan. I lost a partnership in building a company that was my brainchild. I worked and wasn’t paid. I couldn’t afford my house rent.
At so many points I couldn’t afford to help when it mattered. I made a few selfish decisions. I know You know all the poor decisions I made.
I’ve had to forgive people I didn’t think deserved it. But I now realize it’s the same way I can never deserve your forgiveness, yet You give it freely.
I’ve disappointed and disobeyed You a lot this year, yet this has been the year where I’ve felt Your love the most. You reminded me of what it means to be taken care of by You.
Abba, I shed a lot of painful tears in 2022. I don’t think there’s been a year where I cried as hard as I did this year. But it’s also been a year filled with so many moments of genuine happiness & laughter.
Even though I don’t think this has been my best year yet, there’s a lot I’m grateful for. Here are a few:
I’m grateful for life and how You consistently show up.
I’m grateful for the joy of my salvation.
I’m grateful for my heart of flesh.
I’m grateful for the unique experiences in You.
I’m grateful for Uncle Charlie.
I’m grateful for my goddaughters.
I’m grateful for my best friend.
I’m grateful for my sisters.
I’m grateful for my brothers & parents.
I’m grateful for a very strong support system.
I’m grateful for the gift of men at every point of need.
I’m grateful for the Surge community.
I’m grateful for the Elevation church.
I’m grateful for access.
I’m grateful for a job that glorifies you.
I’m grateful for Eme.
I’m grateful for a peaceful home & neighborhood.
I’m grateful for my million little miracles.
Dear Abba, 2023 is in a few hours. I don’t know what next year holds, but I trust that You have it all figured out.
The only thing I seek in 2023 is to experience You in more diverse ways, to go on a journey with You where nothing else matters.
I want to call You names based on my experiences and not what I read or hear.
So here’s to 2023 sweet Abba 🥂.
____
~The Christian Feminist~