Dear Abba,
I honestly can not believe a year has passed since I wrote my 2022 letter to You. I took a few minutes to reread it; I am just in awe of You. It reminded me of the importance of journaling and documenting my journey with You.
At a meeting last week, I mentioned how much I had cried this year and how I can not remember the last time I wept that much. But then rereading my 2022 letter, I realized I had forgotten how much I cried in 2022 and how this year does not even come to a tidbit close. It makes one thing undeniable - You are the healer of hearts, the only One who truly turns mourning into dancing and makes yesterday's pain seem insignificant compared to what You are doing in the present.
I can not deny that 2023 has been much of a roller coaster than 2022 was, although with fewer tears of pain and more tears of joy. One thing I learned and practiced in 2023 is listening and obeying Your voice even when it was unclear if it was just my head or You speaking. I can say that I have enjoyed intimacy with You this year.
Here are a few names I can confidently call You resulting from my experience in You this year:
My Abba
My Lover
My Heart healer
My Heart protector
My Life-giver
My Waymaker
My Future securer
My Answered prayer
My Joy
My Peace
My Comforter
My Satisfaction
My Teacher
My Holder
My Center
My Showstopper!
I could go on and on. The more I reflect on the year, the more names come to mind. Each of these names have their own stories embedded in them. You have shown up for me in unbelievable ways this year.
You have given me responsibilities I would never have dreamed of. Responsibilities I am I had no capacity of my own to handle. One of the major responsibilities is Teenznation Ogba. It has been about five months of leading. I am still sure I do not know what the heck I am doing, but I am also sure that as long as I keep following the steps You lay in my front, we will do exploits.
One of the hardest instructions from You I had to obey this year was moving to my parent’s home. I was sure it would be a disaster, but look how You have come through. I still do not know what the purpose is; I guess we will get there.
August was an intriguing month. Moving home, starting a new job, and starting Teenznation Ogba service in one fell swoop. Abba, I almost died! 😂 The following months were some of the most trying months of the year for me. Ah, Chisom wept! Chisom wept o. Reflecting on it now, I can see how you held me. I would never have made it through without You and the beautiful people you surrounded me with.
For the first time, I was sad in the days leading up to my birthday. I cried so bitterly just a day before my birthday (the thought of it still brings tears to my eyes). It was so bad I had to detach from almost everything to keep my sanity. I did not want texts; I did not want calls or posts. I just needed to survive. It was eventually a memorable day, all thanks to You, my bestie, Victor, and the Adenekans.
I was still quite disobedient and made some selfish decisions. But I can confidently say 2023 was a year of intimacy with You (I know it sounds contradictory 😁). You took me on a journey, a wild journey.
As is now our custom, here are a few specific things among the numerous things I am grateful for:
Intimacy with You.
The chokehold You broke (if you know, you know 😉).
My best friend.
Nathan’s birth.
POFA (Pst. Yinka. God was intentional about this relationship).
Uncle Charlie.
Sarah.
My brothers.
My circle of close friends.
A million little miracles.
Source of income (even though I complain about it a lot. Thanks for not taking it away).
I know it seems fewer than last year’s list, but I am still grateful for everything I listed last year and some.
Dear Abba, 2024 is in a few hours. Again, I do not know what next year holds, but I trust that You have it all figured out.
These are the things I seek in 2024, to deepen intimacy with You, build consistency and discipline, be obedient to Your instructions and directions, and get married.
I want to have new names for You based on my experiences in You at the end of 2024.
So here is to 2024 darling Abba 🥂.
____
~ Abba’s heartbeat 😊 ~
This is your best piece yet. I love it ❤. Knowing that the bold move was God's directive gives me the assurance that you will be alright in His love.
Cheers to a glorious 2024 Coz